September 2009
My little sister just asked me how to smoke crack.
I’m not sure what part of that concerns me the most.
August 2009
Asshole Love Triangle Day
You are in love with Jenny but Jenny isn’t sure if she’s ready to commit to you, so you’re dating Sheila who really wants you, but Sheila can tell how you feel for Jenny. Meanwhile, Sheila and Jenny kind of find each other attractive, but they hate each other because of all the confusion over where your heart lies. If it all sounds like a confusing, frustrating,...
There needs to be a countdown clock for muffin decisions at Starbucks.
– Patton Oswalt (via 24freedinners)
Did you know, I can do most of the muppets'...
And yes, I am available.
…..
;)
I am in freakishly good headspace right now.
I guess that’s what two hours of excited screaming will do for you.
I highly recommend it.
What Women Want
Isn’t it hilarious that that movie exists?
3 tags
I think cats are adorable.
But I’d rather have a dog.
Because what I’m really looking for…is an adorable personality.
1 tag
Tragedy today, as former President Gerald Ford was...
(via notthatkindagay)
IKEA changes font, typophiles lose their minds. →
molls:
frangry:
(via soupsoup)
I would rather be described as a pedophile than a “typophile”.
What the hell is wrong with you nerds?
I tried really hard to care. I was looking at the pictures and stuff and I was like “oh, that’s kinda something I guess.” I almost bought into the idea that it was worth my time, and then I started reading the comments.
“Not so much as...
I will not attend your party if it has the word...
frangry:
I simply will not.
Even if it’s a beer shower?
I seem to mostly be following shark people.
So I’m afraid to say, I’m throwing in with the cats.
Please don’t judge me.
(I hope I look cute with whiskers)
McDonald's 365Black →
Holy shit.
McDonald’s just started a website for black people:
At McDonald’s®, we believe that African-American culture and achievement should be celebrated 365 days a year — not just during Black History Month. That’s the idea behind 365Black.com. It’s a place where you can learn more about education, employment, career advancement and entrepreneurship opportunities,...
A man with a tattoo of Britney Spears' name on his...
louisepalanker:
Thank you, AP. That is the most wonderful opening line to a news story I have ever read.
story
I'm the "Ryan Merriam" of tumblr.
right?
Tracy: So, how you doing over there, Theo Huxtable.
Toofer: I'm doing good.
Tracy: Nah-uh. Superman does good; you're doing well. You need to study your grammar, son.
Frank: Wow, that was embarrassing for you.
i'll be bringing you some salmon rolls right away!
meatsack:
in heaven.
If you’re sweating while you’re bowling, you’re out of shape. If you’re out of...
– JIM GAFFIGAN, only slightly wrong.
(via inothernews)
(via 24freedinners)
I hate bowling with suuuch a violent passion.
I hope I didn’t just make any enemies.